Hello. I'm here for Trudy

"Hello. I'm here for Trudy." These were the first words from my mouth this morning when the receptionist at the vet hospital greeted me. She looked me in the eyes and we both knew what I was there for.

Trudy came into my life just 5 short month ago in early August. I had the opportunity to pull the Saint Bernard from death row at rural shelter about an hour southwest of Raleigh. As soon as I saw her photo, my heart sank. But it was worse in person... her rib cage was clearly visible, fleas and ticks covered her filthy coat. Clearly she suffered (with heartworms) in the scorching NC heat for too long. I was so glad our organization, the SPCA of Wake County, could step in and give her a fighting chance.

The first day I took her to the SPCA's Holding Center. I set her up in a kennel and made a comfy bed of blankets so her protruding bones wouldn't hurt on the concrete floors. I took off her old, ragged electric shock collar and replaced it with a new bright red collar. The next day, Saturday, Kyle and I drove down to the Holding Center with frozen KONGS of peanut butter. We gave her a long and cold bath to cool her down in August heat. We spent hours picking fleas off her coat. Then gave her another bath of cold water just for good measure... we set her up with clean blankets and another frozen KONG for the evening.

Clearly she had an assortment of medical issues beyond the heartworms, which we knew when we rescued her. She lived in foster care for weeks, where she suffered from separation anxiety. But she lived inside, with a family in a home as we tried to work with her sad emotional state and medical situations.

After a couple months she came back to the SPCA where she lived in a room where she got a lot of volunteer and staff lovin'. She enjoyed early morning walks around the shelter's woodland paths. But we still knew she had a number of medical issues that needed to be addressed prior to her adoption.

I found out last night that the medical issues were worse than we thought. She had a cancerous tumor in her right front leg. This leg would need to be amputated. Plus the cancerous tumors may have spread to her spleen. This in combination with the heartworms would be too much for us to humanely ask the senior girl to withstand. She needed to be euthanized.

I was the only one she had in this world. I needed to be there for her to stay goodbye.

"Hello. I am here for Trudy."

With a heavy heart the vet tech lead me into the room where Trudy would meet me. A few minutes later a bubbly Trudy pranced into the room and gave me a big lick across the forehead. The vet looked at me and asked if I wanted a few minutes to alone. With tears in my eyes I looked up from the floor and nodded, yes. She left us alone. I sat there with Trudy for five minutes and just pet her. I tried not to get angry at the situation. Where was her family? She had a collar. She was owned. Why didn't her family look for her on death row? Why was she so neglected, flea ridden, and underweight? Above all, how many other Trudys are out there dying ALONE in shelters? I swallowed my anger and exhaled as the vet entered with a series of syringes in her hand.

She joined Trudy and I on the floor. After the first syringe, we slowly guided her to lay down. The second syringe Trudy relaxed completely and went limp. Her chest stopped moving. After the third syringe, the vet listened for her heart beat and gently informed me she was gone.

I say it every day when I wake up in the morning, I have the best job in the world. But sometimes it is tough. Really really tough. But I won't trade it for the world. I was there for Trudy.